Monday, February 13, 2017

University

University life is not about staying in your bubble. It's not about being comfortable or being perpetually happy. It's not about feeling accepted and loved by all. If that's what we want, then we should never leave our homes.

It's about feeling like an outsider. It's about encountering discrimination, racism, sexism, political differences, personality clashes, social disparity, and learning to take it all in and face it with strength. It's about learning to build up walls to shield yourself from all the negativity and still being able to accept constructive criticisms.

It's about having different and opposing opinions, debating and discussing them, without taking it personally. It's about developing new ideas and sharing them. It's about immersing yourself in an environment of constant intellectual stimulation and challenge.

It's about having that empty feeling inside, looking for different things to fill the void within. It's about experimenting with different things. It's about testing the waters, pushing the boundaries, but also knowing where your own line is. It's about questioning your principals, dignity and honour, and establishing them.

It's about discovering yourself.

It's about doubting your decisions, your plans, and your self worth. Because how would you find the answer to a question that you've never asked?

It's not about having an answer to all the questions, it's about having a question to all the answers.

University life is not supposed to be perfect. You're supposed to face hardships, you're supposed to feel stress, you're supposed to encounter rejection, you're supposed to be defeated. And then you're supposed to learn to stand up again, against whatever adversaries you're facing.

Because life is not about making everything go your way, it's not about having the best conditions and circumstances. It's about learning to face adversities and building up resilience against them.

Phenotype = genotype + environment

Who we are is an accumulation of our experiences. Who we are is defined by our decisions. Who we are is the result and consequent of our mistakes. But who we are is also what we decide to do about it.

Love,
Wen Yee

Sunday, January 15, 2017

I love the way you look at the world.

I love seeing the world through your lens. 

I love how you have different perspectives. 

I love the way your eyes sparkle with passion. 

I love how true to yourself you are.

I love how optimistic you are even when times are hard. 

I love how strong you are in the face of adversities.

I love that you try to reach for unattainable goals.

I love how you live with the choices you make.

I love how you respect the people around you.

Love,
Wen Yee

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Tromso

I recently visited Tromso, Norway, and it was unequivocally one of the best trips I've been on. On my first night there (NYE) I spent the night at the airport completely alone, but I did get to see fireworks from 4-5 different directions at the same time, and it was quite a view.

The next night was spent exploring the city and going on a luxurious Chasing Lights aurora chase tour. The service provided was unbelievably excellent - the guide was friendly and helpful, many things (tripod, body suit, food, camp fire) were provided for our comfort and I dare say on behalf of the entire group, we had a splendid time. It was worth every penny.

Using the tips we learned from Ewelina (CL guide), we explored Kvaloya the next day, it is the coastal region of Norway with stunning views of magnificent fjords. We even got to catch glimpse of killer whales. The night was spent chasing lights. I take utmost pride in saying that my newly acquired weather interpretation skills helped me do quite a good job in determining where to explore and we were fortunate to have seen strong NL activity throughout the night. The NL were dancing and oscillating so rigorously that we could see it so clearly with the our naked eyes. Unfortunately, without a tripod + a lack of skills, I couldn't capture any shots that night. But my night was lit up by the beauty of the lights.

The third day, we went dog sledding. We signed up with CL but was brought there by Arctic Adventure (their partner). The experience completely exceeded my expectations and I enjoyed every single second of it. From driving the sled (which I think I'm a natural at) to playing with the Alaskan Huskies, it was all impeccably fun. The highlight was when we stepped out of our Airbnb and saw the NL dancing in front of us. It was as if it didn't want us to leave. It was the clearest day we've seen thus far and made a spontaneous decision to rent a car despite the exorbitant cost. I drove us to chase lights and on our way there, we met with an accident. It was my first time encountering a proper collision (aside from driving into my house's gate) and it gave me quite a scare. I definitely wasn't faultless in the situation and really wish I had given my 200% focus. But all of us handled it calmly and continued on our journey despite the hiccup. Blessed as we were, we saw the beautiful Lady on-and-off throughout the night.

Overall, I'd say that we did it perfectly. Aside from the accident, everything went extraordinarily well and we made the most out of every second we had. I wasn't looking forward to the trip much but it really blew me off the roof. The company was great as we all had the passion and tenacity for vigorous traveling. 

I would recommend anyone who wants to go to Norway in winter to go for an Aurora Chase tour with CL and then hire a car for a day or two. Splurge on the activities because if you don't, it'll be such a waste.

Expenses for 3d3n
Flights- LON-OSL OSL-TOS TOS-LON £250 (peak period: New Year)
Cash: £150
Accommodation: £90
Car: £60 (it'll be £20 per day if you don't book last minute)
Tours: £350
Total: £900

Tour information
Company: Chasing Lights 
Website: https://chasinglights.co
Aurora chase: £180
Dog sledding: £155
Snowmobile: £185

To find Northern Lights on your own, search the weather for a couple of spread out locations (North of Tromso and South towards Finland). Anything that's better than 'partly cloudy' is a good sign. But do check the weather every hour as it is more fickle than a girl having pms.

A few locations that I saw NL at:
North - Kårvik, Kvaloysletta
South - Fagernes
Airbnb - http://abnb.me/EVmg/U9BfPG4wFz £428 for 3 nights for 5 people

Literally anywhere that's secluded, has a clear sky and is dark, is great.

And also, another plus point, on all night, we were able to see a sky full of stars that seemed so close to us. That was also the occasional shooting star. 

As for the accident, it wasn't a terrible one but my bumper and rear mirror did break off so I'd say it was quite bad. Thankfully, none of us was injured, and we didn't panic. I'm not the best driver ever, but I do have some experience driving with driving in Europe and I do drive extremely cautiously and carefully when in Europe. The accident happened because I missed a blind spot while turning and the lady tried to overtake me. It was her mistake for overtaking while I was turning but it was my fault for not watching out for the blind spot and I guess it's a good lesson to learn from.

Anyway, it was still a great trip and it's one that's hard to forget and top.

Some of my fav shots. Can't be arsed to edit them, and it's such a pain uploading photos one by one through the Blogger app...



























Love,
Wen Yee

Wednesday, December 21, 2016

There you go

Today I'm gonna answer a question that I've been asked several times over the past few months, and I hope my answer satisfies all of your curiousity/concern. How do I feel about my ex getting a new girlfriend?

Well, how would you feel?

About half a year ago, I found out that he was chasing her. At that time I brushed it off because I was kinda dating someone too and was returning to Malaysia where my circle of friends is completely different - hence not bothered by it.

After summer, when I returned to Leeds and met up with 2 friends in September, I found out that my ex and a girl friend are seeing each other, frankly, I was shocked. But being egoistic and shit, I pretended like I didn't care. I probably put on the idgaf facade for 2 weeks until I finally admitted to myself that.. Well, I did give a fuck.

We had broke up for a year by then. I think. Or even longer, maybe? I can't remember. But it was safe to say that we were both happy to be rid of each other and move on with our lives. It was a toxic relationship and I was going through a (self-diagnosed) 'depressed' stage at the time so I just didn't love him right. I made many mistakes in that relationship and I admit that I was a clingy, overly possessive, untrusting, psycho girlfriend. Anyway, it was a year ago, I pretty damn sure that I had moved on. But just because I've moved on, doesn't make it any easier to see my ex with someone else right?

I was probably upset over this for 2 weeks? It wasn't because he found a partner before I did, or because I felt lonely... All those things really don't bother me. What upsets me most is seeing him so happy. Through the few months that we were dating, I have never seen him smile the way he does with her now, and that breaks my heart. Because it reminds me of how bad of a girlfriend I was and makes me feel like such a terrible person for not doing a better job.

It's like doing a ballet routine and the teacher just nods after you've danced, but when your friend dances, the teacher showers her with compliments and praises. That fucking hurts. It is painful to feel like you weren't good enough for someone, and now that you see their capacity of happiness, you just wish you had given that to them.

When I was with him, I've suggested countless of times to travel to this place and that place. And his reason for saying no was always revolving money issues. Now that I see him going here and there with someone else, so willing to spend time and money with another.. I just wanna die. Was I such a despicable person that he didn't wanna travel or go out with me during the period where we were dating...

So ya, every glimpse of seeing him happy with someone else, reminds me of what an awful person I am, and that's not something I'd like to be reminded of, even if it's true.

There was one particular night that I woke up from my sleep and just started thinking about it and cried. I know, what a fucking loser.. But 2 weeks after that and it just stopped bothering me anymore. I knew I had to accept it because we hang out in the same circle of friends and we're bound to meet.

True enough, there has been a couple of group outings, and I'm perfectly fine with them being there. It doesn't concern me. But there was this time at a friend's place, we were having a potluck and I was happily sitting down and eating my cake or whatever it was. And then they came and sat right opposite me. They were less than 10 feet away from me, sharing a chair, cuddling and touching... My eyes stopped there and I distracted myself from looking anymore.

I'm not jealous. I'm not outraged. I'm not upset. I am just purely amazed at the level of respect my ex has for me. If you've once loved someone so much, how can you have the decency to cuddle with someone else RIGHT in front of your ex? I mean - I don't know about you, but it's not something I'd do. But maybe it's cause we're all raised differently.

That point on, I knew that he didn't treat me as a friend. Friends would have a certain level of respect and courtesy for each other, but he obviously doesn't see me as one. And this is something that many agree with me.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying he owes it to me to be discreet about his new relationship, or that he's obliged to care about my feelings. He is not. But it just shows how little matter/mattered to him. And that's disappointing.

Anyway, from then on, I stopped seeing him as anything, I have no feelings or emotions to him, not happiness, not anger, not sadness, nothing. Just indifference.

So ya, to answer your question very simply, at this point, I honestly don't care about their relationship at all. If I see it, I might feel something. But if I don't (which I hardly do nowadays), I really just don't care. For me to care, it'd mean I have to think about it, which I very honestly.. don't.

I'm happy with where I am in life and how far I've come since that relationship, and I don't ever wanna go back to how I was again. I don't know if I'm ready for a new relationship, but I certainly can live without one now.

I am happy on my own.

Love,
Wen Yee

Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Happy Merdeka

A country is made up of its people - the good and the bad, the poor and the rich, the superior and the inferior, the royalties and the commoners, the bumiputera and the non, the politicians and the others. Everyone.

So when you talk about your nation, think before speaking. When you say you hate your nation, remember where you were brought up.

I'm not writing this because I'm some patriotic saint who thinks Malaysia is the best country in the world and lets all be happy and live under the rainbow as unicorns. No. Malaysia is not perfect, in fact it's far from it. We shouldn't be happy with where we are, because it's really full of shit. Other than the bigger states, most states are still so far behind in terms of education, thinking, infrastructure, et cetera. Christ, it'll take us decades or even centuries to become a proper first world country.

But you know what, we're a developing nation. DEVELOPING. And that means something. Developing, a continuous present tense, it is an on-going process. And for Malaysia to develop, it takes time, effort and resources. The only way to gather all these things is if the people are willing to sacrifice. I'm not saying all of us should lay our life down to be politicians and join DAP or whatever. By no means am I saying that, because that's NOT the only way you can change a country. I'm asking YOU, to choose to see pass the injustice, the filth, the hatred.. and choose to love and serve Malaysia in your own way.

Change starts from within. If you want to change a country, you gotta change the people; to change the people, you've gotta educate them; to educate them, you first have to be changed yourself. How do you expect the country to change if all you do is profess your hatred for your nation? So you hate Malaysia because of Najib? Wow. That's amazing. You allow ONE person to make you hate a nation. Or lets group it together - you allow CORRUPTION to make you hate a nation? What on earth. Why would you choose to let corruption, racism, sexism or whatever it is to rule you. Why do YOU give it the POWER to make you detest something. These negative things are already ruling the nation, so instead of allowing it to affect you even more, why not you try to stop it.

You say it's impossible. Prove it to me. You can't, can you? Because you can't prove the inability to do something, you can only prove the ability to do it. You say, they even cheat during elections, there's corruption on such a massive scale, how do we change that? Well, we start the change from within. How many of us bribed to get our driver's license? How many of us pay 50bucks just to get off a roadblock or speeding ticket or whatever.

HOW CAN YOU EXPECT CHANGE NATIONWIDE, ON A MASSIVE SCALE, IF YOU YOURSELF THINK IT'S OK TO BRIBE. 

THINK.

This infuriates me so much. To the point I'm actually tearing writing this. Because boy, I love Malaysia so damn much. I love the people, the food, everything. And I will not allow the corrupted politicians, the pollution, the negatives mindsets, or anything to have the power to stop me from loving my nation. The nation that born and bred me. The nation that made me who I am.

Corruption is infesting our country, it is consuming us. We are so closely associated to that filthy word, that when you think Malaysia, you think corruption, injustice... Corruption didn't start with Najib, and it won't end with Najib.

But this stops NOW. If we, as Malaysians are willing to work towards it.

You have the power to make a change, you just have to decide if you want to.

Love,
Wen Yee

Thursday, July 21, 2016

Public transport thoughts

She closes her eyes and dreams of another time. A time where she is not bounded by the cares of the world nor the realization of the fleetingness of each present moment. To be able to truly live and breathe through each particle of time. Because every second, something is happening in every corner of the world. And what's going on in our lives is only a tiny fraction of the universe. Yet we magnify and amplify everything that happens to us. We believe that we are the center of our own universe. Which is not incorrect. After all, the world is made up of so many 'insignificant significants'. 

Love,
Wen Yee

Sunday, June 26, 2016

Quotes that I live by (to be updated every now n then)

All that I’m after, is a life full of laughter. - Life After you, Daughtry

You reap what you sow. - Galatians 6:7, The Bible

In life, we often regret the things we didn’t do, more than the things we did do. - Me

The freedom to make my own mistakes was all I ever wanted. - Mance Rayder, Game of Thrones

I shall never be afraid to confront the real. The imagined holds far greater terror for me. Vera Britain, Testament of Youth


Failure meant a stripping away of the inessential. - JK Rowling

Well it may have escaped your notice, but life isn't fair. - Professor Snape, Harry Potter


Always remember what are you fighting for, no matter how bad the situation, push through and persevere. - Me